Observing the behaviours of others without absorbing it!

Navigating Difficult Communication Without Absorbing It

I'm sure we can all think of a time where we walked away from a conversation feeling completely drained. Maybe someone’s tone, words, or energy lingered with you for hours, days, or even weeks where you wernt over and over what you did or did not say/do. If you’re a highly sensitive person (HSP) who deeply cares about others, this can be an all-too-common experience.

Some people communicate through frustration, defensiveness, or even aggression—not because they are intentionally trying to harm us, but because that’s how they’ve learned to express themselves. While we can’t control how others communicate, we can control how we respond and, most importantly, whether we absorb their energy.

The Power of Observation Over Absorption

It is vital to step back and observe others rather than immediately react. When we pause and witness their behavior without making it our own, we create a buffer—a space between their energy and our energy.

Here are some ways to practice this:

✨ Take a breath before responding – Ground yourself before engaging further.

✨ Ask: What is mine, and what is theirs? – Not everything needs to be held onto.

✨ Visualize a protective boundary – Imagine a light or shield around you to help deflect negativity.

✨ Stay curious, not furious – “I wonder why they are communicating this way?” rather than “Why are they treating me like this?”

Reflection Questions:

💭 Why do I tend to absorb other people’s emotions or reactivity?

💭 What part of me feels responsible for their mood or behavior?

💭 How does their reaction trigger something within me?

💭 What past experiences might have conditioned me to over-identify with others’ feelings?

💭 How can I better separate my emotions from theirs moving forward?

Recognising and shifting this pattern takes practice, but the more we protect our energy while still holding compassion, the more we cultivate inner peace. You don’t have to carry what isn’t yours. A beautiful friend of mine told me to state out loud "I release all energy that is not mine to carry". That statement is a great way to assert to yourself to let go of what is not yours to heal, feel, control or change!

💛